“Only through music can I explore and discuss my feelings with such precision.”

After 20 years, Peter Lawrence Gray ’97 is playing music again.

The Clarkie who performed on the tuba at Carnegie Hall while in high school and strummed his Gibson SG Firebrand guitar every day in his Clark residence hall room recently recorded several songs that have earned significant radio play in the United States and Europe.

In 2023, Gray’s song “First Time Ever” charted at No. 12 on WHRV, a flagship NPR station for folk and Americana music. Across the Atlantic Ocean, his songs “When You Say” charted at No. 11 and “You’re Only Lonely” at No. 27 on New Brandenburg Radiotreff in Germany for Americana and adult contemporary music. “You’re Only Lonely” also charted at No. 50 on Radio ARA in Luxembourg.

As a teen, Gray catapulted from his high school’s beginner band to advanced band within six months, and by his sophomore year was playing for Bridgeport University’s college band. After he graduated from Clark with a psychology degree, the music faded. Gray devoted himself to a real estate career in Connecticut, where he is now the president of the Pyramid Real Estate Group.

“A lot of what I do for a living, and a lot of what I did at Clark, is logical and concrete,” he says. But music is quite different. Gray calls it “an emotional journey of self-growth.” After a two-decade break, he realized there were certain emotions he needed to express, and music was the best release.

“Only through music can I explore and discuss my feelings with such precision, and others can hear, feel, understand, and hopefully relate to what I’m putting out there,” says Gray. He also plays the bass guitar and keyboard and has even included the glockenspiel in some of his music.

As he wrote and composed in his studio, Gray sought out someone to give him vocal training. He believes that the human voice is one of the hardest instruments to play — but one of the most important.

“It quickly became very apparent to me that your singer is your sound, and if they leave, you’re no longer your own band,” he says. “So, I found a music teacher and started taking singing lessons.”

Gray worked with a vocal instructor from Argentina who teaches virtually. “It turned out that it wasn’t that I couldn’t sing. Everything I had learned in high school and choir was wrong,” he says. “She untrained me from my training. It turns out, I love singing.”

Clark, Gray says, taught him how to think, how to keep an open mind, and how to evaluate situations, all of which he says he’s carried through into his creative projects. He describes his art as a “tapestry” of music.

“It starts with the drama, the rhythm. You have to get to the beat fast. On top of that is what’s called a chordal progression. All of these chords have to respect a certain key,” he says.

Gray tries to create a flawless track while remaining open to new possibilities.

“I used to think that a lot of things mattered in music. The only thing that really matters is your timing. A lot of times my mistakes end up being part of the song,” he says. It’s a contrast to his experience in the real estate industry, where he works within tightly defined parameters.

“Mistakes there are exactly what we have to avoid because they’re incredibly costly,” he says. “In music, sometimes mistakes end up being a stroke of genius.”

Sometimes, making music seems impossible.

“I have a little recording booth, but if a car goes by, everything is spoiled, so I have to do my recording at four in the morning,” Gray says. “I can’t even have my kids get up and walk around. The slightest noise or movement spoils the track.”

Despite the challenges, it’s all worth it.

“Hearing my own songs on the radio is a surreal experience that’s hard to describe,” Gray says. “I was shocked, stunned, befuddled, bemused. I was thrilled and in complete denial.”

Gray receives about 8 cents per spin, or 50 cents if he’s on satellite radio.

“I don’t think my song quite stacks up to Taylor Swift,” he says, “but I did get a chance to live my dream: To be on the radio.”

Gray advises Clarkies pursuing passion projects to start small and stay at it.

“Keep playing. Keep recording. The truth is that you can do it all yourself right now,” Gray says. “You just have to start.”